I wish I could tell people about school

I wish that I could tell people that I am going back to school.  Only my husband and kids know.  It would be nice to have more support.  I can't tell anyone though because I have quit so many things previously that no one would take me seriously. 

I have Bipolar Disorder and ADD.  Actual real diagnosed by a doctor ADD.  I take enough medication for my bipolar to put an elephant to sleep every night.  I am supposed to take Adderall every morning, but I tend to forget more than I remember.  Now that I went back to school, my husband gives it to me every morning before he goes to work.  That is helpful. 

I have signed up to sell Avon, MaryKay, Tupperware, and I don't even remember what else. Each time I thought that it was going to be make us rich!    Unfortunately, I am a crappy sales person and wanted to give everyone I know the same price I pay.  Odd how that doesn't work?  There were tons of other get rich quick schemes over the years, but my latest has been the best by far!

My most recent “brilliant” idea was that I was going to sell sex toys online.  I was out of my damn mind.  Literally.  I figured that sex sells, so why not take advantage of it?  I spent countless hours researching distributors and building a website. I got a business license and tax certificate.  I opened a bank account.  I even told all of our friends and RELATIVES about it and offered told them that they could have anything they wanted for my price.  (seeing a theme here?) I even told my husband's GRANDMOTHER! I was thrilled when I got my first sale. $250!  We were going to be rich!  About a week later my very special just for the business phone rang.  A customer! Woo Hoo!  Unfortunately, it was a very angry pastor's wife on the phone and she had received a box with two very large vibrators inside.  The appropriate thing to do here would have been to apologize profusely.  I cracked up.  Not just a little giggle.  Nope.  I had a full blown laugh until you cry moment.  I wasn't laughing a week later when the bank took the money from my account without telling me first.  Apparently the card which it was bought with was stolen.  Joy.  So now I had to pay for the products myself.  That was the end of that venture.  So we started off poorer than we were when we started.  At least my husband and I had fun test driving the products we were going to sell! Strangely none of our friends or family took me up on the offer for discount sex toys. 

I am textbook mania.  It really stinks because even when I take my medications faithfully I still lapse into insanity occasionally.  I keep waiting for the magic pill that is going to make me “normal”  I think I just have to accept the fact that even with the best possible care I am never going to be what other people would consider “normal” 

Maybe the fact that I am trying to keep the fact that I am going back to school a secret means that I'm not manic?  Maybe it is a good sign.  I hope that I can find some blog friends to be supportive since I can't tell people in the real world yet.