I have two papers due Sunday. I also have a couple of other assignments that I need to do online, but they won't take that long. So, I grab myself a drink, set up my laptop and pull out my books. My kids are in their rooms being quiet. Life is good
Jell - MOM!!!!
Little One - HAHAHAHAHA OUCH MOM!!!!!
About this time the cat comes flying into the kitchen all fluffed up and pissed about something. She jumps on the table and my drink spills everywhere. Thank God I had time to rescue the laptop before any damage was done. Textbooks are highly over rated. Who cares if they get a little wet. They will dry right?
At this point the kids are screaming and trying to kill each other. I go to separate them and end up about stepping on Izzy, the iguana, who is supposed to be in Little One's room. I step over her and go tell Little One to go and get Izzy before someone steps on her. He very logically told me that no one was going to step on her because we were the only ones home and were all in the same room. Any other child this would be being a smart ass. With Asperger's Syndrome, he thinks very literally and was simply stating a fact.
So at this point my daughter is still pissed. She is doing that pre-teen screech thing that drives me insane. Little One is laughing. The dog is probably in the kitchen licking up the mess the cat made. She is a Boston Terrier and has serious gas issues. Seriously. It's horrible. I should make Little One let her sleep in his room as a punishment.
Apparently, according to Little One, he took Izzy into Jell's room to show her something new Izzy could do. According to Jell, he took Izzy into her room hidden in his shirt, climbed up on her bed to watch tv with her and then put Izzy on her head. When she flipped out and flung whatever was on her head off, Izzy landed on the cat, which sent the cat freaked out and into the kitchen to spill my drink. When I asked Little One what "trick" it was that Izzy could do that he had to surprise his sister with he told me "she can fly!" That WAS being a smart ass.
From the living room I hear "STOP!" "WHAT THE HELL" "DAMN IT" followed by laughing in every member of my families voice. Casper, my African Grey thought that it was hilarious that the kids were in trouble. He has a vocabulary of about a hundred words and will pretty much ask for what ever he wants. The extent of his curse words are damn it, hell, and the occasional dumb ass. I called my husband a dumb ass ONE time after he walked out the door to work and Casper referred to him as that for months afterward. Of course every time he would say it he would crack up in my husband's voice. Needless to say he did NOT find it amusing.
So this whole story took place in about two minutes. Took a lot longer to write it down. I was so frustrated with the kids I told them that if they couldn't behave I was going to lock them in a closet. I wouldn't actually lock them in a closet, it just sounded good.
Actually it sounded really good. So I decided to lock myself in the closet instead. My house is a small 3 bedroom and with two kids and the zoo we have it there just isn't any space that I could set up to be my work space. I decided that I was going to turn my master bedroom closet into an office. Thankfully we are jeans and t-shirt people and I was able to move most of our clothes into the dresser. The closet isn't very big, but it is big enough that I was able to drag a small table and chair in there. I am even able to close the door! I'm pretty sure that it is would be bad to lock my kids in the closet, but hey, I kinda like it myself!
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